Life has given me choices, it gives us all choices daily … does it not ?

A little bit more time, if only. How many times have you longed to turn back the clock, to squeeze more in… than time allowed….

My life must surely be over, done. The end of the road. My world has fallen apart, I’m exhausted, depleted of every scrap of energy.

The struggle is real, grief magnetises struggles faster than it can find space for them.

Realising that having the ability to find a way to view things, that allow in light, joy, healing & positivity … finding a reason to skip, feel lighter. Is found by many as incredibly irritating.

Heaven has created two ties, in under two years. This in many ways is seen as … you just couldn’t make this up ! Why … how… really ? Life is so cruel, unfair, tragic.

Heaven sent me strength, it somehow guided & watched me. I was led to a beautiful soul who for the past 13 months has provided hope, love, & light to my world.

Our new lives can seem, unwanted, mysterious, stressful & unfathomable.

Life goes on … A phrase my LH drilled into me in his last weeks, he knew his was nearing the end however was fully subscribed to the fact that life will & must go on for everyone left.

Restoration, a word I have only ever associated with items of furniture & special pieces. Following a life, with a history seeped in stories, that appears battered & to have lost its purpose, an item is seen as ….

More often than not these days, I spend weekends in different locations with old friends, new friends, mini team Rigden, on my own, indoors, outdoors, calm, chaotic …. Regardless, there is a common theme.

A weekend away with some friends of over 20 years. Each of them happily married, feeling whole, contented.

The simple truth of life, is that the need to bend & twist are essential. If our core doesn’t allow our bodies to do this, our minds always can.

Regardless how steady you feel, how many times you stumble, if the paces slows or gathers momentum. Simply …. keep going.

This delicate tea cup caught my eye yesterday … & I took a photo …. I do this regularly. I see something & it prompts me to think.

Loss always seems unfair, to all that are involved.

Those that get to experience the sitting that can’t be prepared for, shouldn’t be feared & lives with them, in them .. are forever changed.

Whilst comparing a cocktail to life, how the mixture of events thrown at us creates our own recipe base, how we seek further ingredients to combine & create our own personal cocktail, which likely finds itself in the shaken stage for longer than we would plan.

Let’s get clear on this thing we call grief ..It’s anything but clear.

We can hold on & let go simultaneously… letting go of what we imagined, holding onto our memories, allowing hope to hold us ❤