Love after loss after loss
Love after loss after loss
A spare seat, an empty space, scales weighing heavy …. A heavy heart, so blessed with love, so full of life , yet torn further from losing love after loss.
Braving love after loss, imagining it, learning from it … discovering that my heart had the capacity to not only love after loss, but to let love in, no conditions minimal confusion… just big love !! a heart full of love however crushed … began to bloom, repair, the scars shining.
This newly shaped heart, would carry me, my rich bank of memories & hold love for my late husband… and there was not only space to love again it simply had so much give, wriggle room, so much stretch …. It was, it felt bursting !
Loss, love, joy, heartbreak 💔… rode together as love flowed in, the more my heart seemed to grow & every aspect of life, for me, benefitted…. My heart, I learnt wasn’t broken, it was beautiful & blessed.
Many found this hard to comprehend, that this could be possible …. I certainly did in the weeks that followed loss. That was because, I didn’t understand it. I had nothing to base this on…. I only knew, I hoped this was possible … that my heart could carry the love for my late husband & love deeply another, if I was ever to be blessed.
Learning that my heart could expand, let the light in, reflect love, attract it & ooooh feel so so alive & full.
Then came the jolt, where my newly shaped heart was forced to shine differently & reshape quickly …. Love after loss delivered further loss. A final kiss, a beautiful speedy goodbye, thank you. Leaving not just a mark on my heart, an imprint, a new shape …. A big lesson.
The lesson …. Michelle, your heart can love again, it can. I couldn’t now question this idea, I knew… finding the strength, the light, to appreciate with depth, what this experience, this person, this bright light had brought to me. Warmth, love, an ability to share the love that was already stored in my broken heart …. To share & let beauty run wild.
I’d felt, lighter, brighter, stronger… gratitude, trust & hope …. Got me to that point.
So, love after loss, after loss … could this be possible ? Just how much can our hearts hold ? How much can they keep giving……
My brave heart is learning that the gratitude bug, can continue to repair after compounded loss.
Love is never ending … those we are forced to love differently, as they’ve moved to an address, unreachable, even with the best Sat nav, maybe are closer than we think. They are in our hearts… guiding us, stretching us.
Stretching my mind & my heart.
My heart refuses to stop loving. Where will it take me ? Before I take my seat, at the unreachable address.
Answers on a postcard to … Braveheart ❤️
Michelle X
