When grief brings people together… but joy keeps them together. ❤️
Last weekend I spent a few wonderful days away with two very special ladies.
Three women. Three widows. Three husbands who died within three months of each other.
That’s what connected us in the first place.
Two and a half years ago, at a time when our worlds had been turned upside down. None of us had chosen to join this particular club, but somehow, amongst the sadness, we found each other.
And what a gift that has turned out to be. ❤️
Last weekend we headed to London, celebrating a special birthday, making memories and, on Sunday, enjoying afternoon tea at The Ritz! Oh my goodness…The Ritz! 🥂
The height of grown up bliss. Beautiful surroundings, fabulous company and one of those iconic experiences you know you’ll remember forever.
But what made it special wasn’t just The Ritz. It was who I was sharing it with.
Three women who met because of something utterly heartbreaking, now sitting somewhere utterly beautiful, celebrating life.
There’s something rather wonderful about that. I realised, we spent far less time talking about being widows.
And we actually commented on it.
Not because our husbands matter any less, or that we have bagged grief up & parked it. But because something else has grown.
Our friendship.
When we first met, our losses were the biggest thing we had in common. We needed to talk, share, understand and be understood.
And we still have that precious, safe space where anything can be said, without explanation or judgement. We simply, just simply …. Get it !
But over the last two and a half years, we’ve got to know each other’s lives. We’ve watched them unfold, shared the changes, the challenges, the laughter and the new chapters we appear in.
We’ve made memories that belong to us.
And last weekend I realised something rather lovely.
Grief brought us together, but it no longer needs to be the thing that holds us together.
Our husbands will always be part of our story. Without them, and without losing them when we did, the three of us wouldn’t have the relationship we do .
What a strange, bittersweet thought.
Our friendship now has its very own story.
And perhaps that’s another little lesson about life after loss.
We don’t have to leave our grief behind to make room for something wonderful.
We can carry it with us whilst building a life filled with new people, new experiences and new memories.
And sometimes, without even noticing, the sadness stops being the main character in the room, on the stage, or in the story.
Not because it’s gone.
But because joy has found its voice too.
How blooming lovely is that? ❤️
Three widows.
Brought together by loss.
Bound together by friendship.
And making memories that have absolutely nothing to do with being widows.
Except, of course, that’s how it all began.
And I think that’s rather beautiful. ❤️
Michelle X
