Reflecting ..

Reflecting ..

The past few days I’ve found my mind filled with thoughts of just how much has happened in the space of two years.

Calm to chaos seems to be the theme, fuelled by fear & the all important love. Grief is love, rolling around needing to be held, calmly.

Discovering that where fear lives, there awaits a form of joy.

Each part of the rollercoaster to now .. fearing the path to death, organising a funeral, attending my husbands funeral, keeping my business afloat, waking up, going to sleep, each first, each milestone, the future, my decision making ability …

You know … the list is never ending it keeps getting written, re written, others add to it, there seems to be an invisible pen at play !

I’m now fully subscribed to allowing the fear to just be, roll up, remain on the list until one day it magically gets erased.

Most of the fears are for tasks we have to do … as I reflect I realise that each fear has returned joy in one way or another… showing me that …

We can fear something, deep dive in or possibly be thrown in without a life jacket. What will attach itself to us, will remain with us forever, in the form of scars & strength.

It’s only when we reflect, that the joy can be understood.

Joy doesn’t always look colourful, inviting & familiar.

Make time to reflect on just how much you’ve grown during chaos, the determination to survive, to live ….. the fear fuelled you, love held you.

My heart is full ❤ of gratitude, grace & hope.

Our love in heaven & on earth is abundant.

Kick back & reflect … as often as you need to & a little bit more … calm & chaos live so very close to each other.

Michelle X #widowsupport #grief #lifeafterloss #widowlife