Grief starts with love …..

Grief starts with love …..

I adore the seaside, sand, shells … the smell & sounds. It always, without fail simply sets me straight. Irons out the creases, the mess & I’m ready to put on my smile & face whatever needs attention.

Life in widowland is more complicated than I’ve ever experienced life to be. The W badge brought with it the obvious mix of complications, uncertainty & big unfamiliarity.

Who am I ? What am I doing ? Why, when … how …. Where? Arghhhhhhhh

What I’ve come to realise is that in the early days, months I was so incredibly kind to myself … treated myself to time & extra special things … facials, holidays, nice food …. Whilst I was clinging to life to make sense of it, I figured that the sheer volume of uncertainty ahead with what seemed like every aspect of life I could imagine, needed ME …. Me on full focus, high alert … I was maybe the most important piece of the jigsaw. I needed to love myself, more than ever before.

Be kind to me.

Forgive me.

Give me some slack.

Be patient, very patient with me.

Trust me

And LOVE me ❣

To give myself a chance in making the path ahead bearable, with progress in the right direction. To support my children, to hold onto my business, provide some compassionate leave for self employed me … I had to think differently, live differently & love ME differently.

This was different. My relationship with grief, began & ended with me.

We are the important piece of this very important job given to us … the grief exists because of love. Love is the common thread … it now starts with us.

We think we love ourselves, on closer inspection into what we can sometimes say & the actions we take ….. we can be surprised , showing us there’s room for a whole load more LOVE … self love.

Indulge yourself in self love, I don’t think you’ll regret it. Heaven begs you.

Trust you’ll love the jigsaw as it begins to take shape.

❤❤❤❤

Michelle x